just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ðŸ˜ðŸ’€#pensacolaproblems
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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