Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
