marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
MIDGETS
????
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
