She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
