oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
