this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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