i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
