At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
