I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just had sex on a roof
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
