After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
