Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
