That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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