i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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