Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
