Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
40s are totally the cure
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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