I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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