think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
