Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
