woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
