Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
