so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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