i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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