Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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