So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
