You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
