So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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