he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
