My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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