You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Randomize
