Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
