it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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