oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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