my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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