WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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