How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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