After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
