i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Can I color on your dick again?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
