He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
