More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
