I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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