So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
try to milk me bitch
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
