I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
