I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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