woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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