If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
