I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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