after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
