There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
