Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
