so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
